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2002-10-18 : 5:35 p.m.
Do or Die.
Listening to: SEETHER- Disclaimer, track 12... mostly.
I think I just witnessed one of the more random (maybe not) albeit, fucking hilarious events of the day... I was walking back to work, after picking up a nutritious meal at the local burger joint: WENDYS� In any case, the path I chose to come back on, involved using the concourse level (an underground tunnel of sorts, with small shops and all-- that connect a large number of buildings in this part of Manhattan). In any case, my building is the last enroute� and it was fairly dead at this time� the only person other than myself within relative proximity to the building entrance, was this pizza delivery man� who was not far ahead of me� let�s say� ehhh, 10 ft, approximately� To make a long story short , this obviously (veteran) of pizza deliveries� was holding the pizza up with one arm- (much like a server)- in it�s cozy- pizza warmer apparatus� and out of nowhere drops the fucking thing� big deal??!! You exclaim! Well wait� as I too also thought prematurely to what I was witnessing� as I had assumed the pizza was safe in it�s little velcro-all encompassing-warmer� but alas! The fearless large-size pepperoni puppy slid out and hit the nearest end of a wall� but no fear� as there seemed to be hope� the box had only partially opened and only one small end of the pizza had touched any foul contamination� It was at that instant that I took a few steps closer to the panicking pizza man� who had not noticed me in the least, a few feet behind him. I had been entranced by the pizza chaos. It was then, that the pizza man went on to open the box completely to reveal the Shakespearean tragi-comedy of it all� the pizza velcro-warmer had done such a phenomenal job at keeping the pizza hot, that all the cheese had crumbled and slid to one entire corner of the pizza� In the ultra-slippery saucy heat it was on� Yes, I thought the same. A poor pizza down for the count� but no! What?? The ??? Hell??? Holy Beez-wax Batman! The pizza man would choose not to pull the life support� he proceeded to� get this� re-smoooosh (for lack of a better word) the cheese with all five fingers of one hand� back to it�s appropriate corners� Uuuuuggghhh� gross� my nausea was creeping up� I couldn�t believe what he was doing� and it was �how� he was doing it� violating the cheese in such a matter� poking� prodding� and then picking the pepperoni out of the collapsed cheese, to place back on top of the re-molded cheese. Ooohhh� the violation of it all.. and with such haste! Yuck! I couldn�t believe what I was seeing� when (I guess) he felt the best could be done, had been done� he repackaged the pizza in the box- and then the warmer� got back up- and again, like a server, with the defunct pizza on one hand� continued on his way� The man never saw me� and as far as I could tell� I was the only one who really had seen anything� I don�t know how they deliver pizza where you�re from, but apparently in the good U.S. of A. It�s do or die.
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