2003-01-21 : 11:14 p.m.
Magical freckles...

Listening to: Green Day (Dookie)Written: 1-21-03 Time: 10:15p.m.

When I woke this morning� I picked up a bottle of perfume that has traveled with me for a little over five years�

I�ve used it sparingly�
At first, because it was the only prime expensive smell I owned�
And wanted it for just those �moments��
Then in time, it became a memory over load� with each trace of aroma that traveled into my mind�
And used it� only when it served the cathartic mood.

Yet when I woke�. And picked up the enchanting bottle that had afforded me on any given occasion� the chance to close my eyes� to live� to remember�

Granted me it�s last bit�
And today did not begin or eclipse any feel of a �moment��
It just struck me as�
Time.
An inevitable point in time, that I would cross� regardless of feel, instinct, rain or snow.
And now the pretty piece of hollow glass just sits�
Because it couldn�t return to where it once sat� for it�s purpose had finally been fulfilled� and now, it simply has no where to go.

**************************************************

Today I was asked about what I was wearing�.

twice�

And twice I spoke said eulogy�
And twice,

They continued and went on�.
As if I never had mentioned the name but twice�

***************************************************

Tonight as I removed my clothes�
I could smell him�

The way he smelled when we was on me�
And slowly, I would remove the memories that kept me warm for today� as the cold air felt compelled to remind me of the choice I had to make�
To remove what couldn�t be held onto for much longer�

And as I stepped into the shower� and bathed�Still being dizzied and bounced about with thoughts and wonders�
I bathed in just the same manner he bathed me� and remembered views of my body- from angles� only he could see�
If I turn my head to the left just enough� and look towards the bottom of my back� My back folds in to ridges, where the water running down my back� carefully bounces and folds into the crevices, reaching an invisible body of flow, up and over the highlights of my skin� created from years of play in the sun�
He�s still right�

It�s as if the first of the water� deliberately bounces and hops about� to avoid the �precious� spotted freckles that adorn my back�

�Sometimes even water, is not pure enough to touch�� he had said�

I laughed�

I always laughed�

�It�s only words,� I�d think� And even if I can see it for myself, years past� I won�t believe�
Silly boys� with silly words�

And in that moment� the realization came�

With all the connotative and denotative truths, made available with this memory�

I had literally washed him away�



previous : next

* - 2007-07-05
--------------------- - 2006-05-30
hello, goodbye - 2006-05-24
Pinky burglar - 2006-03-09
So let's go... - 2006-02-24