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2002-12-03 : 6:29 p.m.
a heavy feel...
The paper headline reads: Tragedy Strikes Again
Ms. Dawe... a paralegal for over 16 years at this firm... died yesterday morning... in a car accident... they were hit straight-on by a utility truck... Both her parents were in the car with her... Her mother died this morning in surgery. Her father is still critical. And I think it's really affecting Brigid... And I don't know what to do... 'I'm sorry'... is simply not enough... Brigid... just keeps rubbing her head and mumbling... "She was such a wonderful woman... so bright..." She was Brigid's age... And although I barely knew this English woman... I had just seen her before the holidays... And I can't shake that... I just fucking "saw" her... that I just "saw" her--- feeling... that just dwells on you and lingers like a weight, wherever you go... the kind of feel... that makes me wonder as I walked down the street, looking at people... "...did they read about her...did they know about her..." the kind of feel, that makes you realize how infantile you are... in the grand scope of things... I didn't get very much sleep last night... And had I not had the opportunity to talk to J' or Fletcher... My thoughts would have weighed on me like hell on earth... like they do right now. I miss Danny... And I'm just not very good at being the pillar of strength for people anymore... I've become absolute shit for it. Weak.
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