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2003-05-03 : 2:45 p.m.
See... 'Now' your name has been mentioned...
This is an email I wrote to the wonderful phyntosia. In response to an email from her. I thought it summed up things well, so here you have it.
*************************************** Oh honey... thank you very much... this was a wonderful email... It really was.. and your 'two-sense' is very welcome here... Well without getting into too much detail, mainly for all boring factors to boot... but Jenny 'was' a friend of Fletcher's, to whom he did not return any said interest... over and over again... and now she's flipped... that he's with me... and so forth. But anyhow... I understand the whole 'ignoring' bit and such... and I really was... for the most part anyway. I was erasing emails and not reading them, and such. But, this last bit came out of nowhere... hell, I hadn't mentioned the wench's name once in months, in relation to anything that had been happening- just to not start anything. Because that wasn't the point. Venting and writing, because it was a diary, my "diary"...was the point. But the reject doesn't get it. But I guess, guilt moved her to respond. And that's that. I've said this to a few already, but I will say it again, because it bears repeating. She has won nothing. Do you know what I think she has actually done? Made us even more focused and driven. And that means, putting all this to death. Albeit, with these diaries... for at least the time being. And when the time comes, I'm sure he'll want to write again... and god knows I won't stop writing (even if it's on a written journal for the time). But we want to settle this. This nonsense, but more importantly this physical distance between us. Which is troublesome enough. I will not let him go... and not over someone... who is and will be a "past" existence. And my ego couldn't be any fatter, knowing she's had to resort to adolescent attacks, in reference to my "sloppy seconds". Almost brought a tear to my eye, thinking of the good ol'days of the 3rd grade...*sigh*. But alas, that literally was almost 19 years ago for me... But we all grow at our own pace, don't we? (And between you and me... I love being the one to lick the sweet batter off the bowl... deeeeee-lish! Ha!) So you see... if there's winning to be had... I have won. Because the focus for this ultimate goal... of having he and I, under the same roof... every same morning... is more fierce and intent, than before. So it's okay... honest. And when he writes again, I'm sure those that have become true friends above all else, will know. And will continue to read, the eloquent and sweet words he's known for... And we'll all be carrying off once again, chit-chatting about that "oh yeah, I remember that wart for a cunt...wonder if she ever got that nasty little thing taken care of?" *then pompous laughter would ensue* "Hoo! Ha! Ha! Har-deee-har-har!" But yes, I think... now that I think about it some more... that this *for now* is a good thing. Because we will work even harder to get this show on the road, and back to my place! Ha! Thank you honey, for your words and concerns... much love is returned for it all... -Alex *the luckiest girl in the world* P.S. I think you may have given me my last diary entry... I hope that's okay... *************************************** Ms. hardlyasaint, who is an angel, helping to make this dream come true... thank you. And thanks to Ms. panzer-kitty, who's cool as hell, and was helping me set up my next of kin diary... which is on permanent standby now. Nonetheless, you rock! Ms. soul-bleeds for the best notes in everness. And those of you from Bren, to Carrie, to Laura, Daisy, Carla, and Ms. pillow-wept... and others with notes, and Gb's, and emails... that matter. (Quite the boat load, I tell you.) You have my heart and greatest thanks. 'Till the next episode...
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