2003-03-04 : 5:19 p.m.
Because I want to feel him entirely...
Listening to: Third Eye Blind (Blue)
I feel better... much better. My apologies...(somewhat...) See, well this is my diary, no? So I just happened to exert my right to bitch...well... in one slot... In any case... I am fine. Good. Thank you for the emails lovelies... and notes... Thanks Lara, really. But I just had quite the lengthy conversation with Fletcher. And I don't really want to lose the blissful feel at the moment I am in. It's sad... hopeful... and excited. And come what may, I am open... Completely open. I refuse to be any other way... because if I am meant to go down... then so be it. If I am meant to die a death of absolute torture and shock, from coming to the conclusion, that I have been thwarted and this entire adventure is a hoax on my heart... Then let it be. Because I can�t feel him any other way. I can�t ask of him, what I won�t give... And if I am to die a million times over... a million ways... From the pain that could erupt from such exposures to this lie... Then bath me in him... in his taste... his smell... Bath me in his breath. And I will die the woman I have always wanted to be.... The way fairytales actually end. �... I don�t break stride Deep Inside Of You.�
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