2002-11-11 : 3:47 p.m.
to dream yet another dream...

Listening to: Front 242 (Front to Front, 1988-1989)

Tomorrow is the 12th.

The dreaded fucking shitty 12th.

I know I must sound ridiculous... but I just want to sleep through it...

I don't want to think... I just want to sleep...

I don't want to remember anymore... just sleep damn it... sleep.

Instead I get to do the stupidest thing tomorrow.

I have a dentist appt... that could not be fixed for another day...

A dentist appointment... where they'll take digital pictures of my mouth... run them through their computers, so they can show me... how asthetically perfect my teeth will look, when they're done...

How stupid...

My friend is dead... and I get to look at the "future" of my smile.

How do I assimilate a day like that, with the memories that haunt me...

I am in the midsts of a week with memories that just test me and test... and doesn't end...

I want to sleep... sleep through the whole day...

Although, strangely enough I look forward to one thing... and one thng only.

The dream that comes to me in my sleep...

always at this time...

where Danny talks to me... I get to hear his voice... see his face... with the expressions and mannerisms in full motion...

I understand it is all in my head...

I understand.

But I long for the feeling i wake up with after the dream...

bittersweet... but happy...

because his smell, his touch, the laughter... feels so clear...

like it was yesterday.

Fuck me... I just want to sleep...

previous : next

* - 2007-07-05
--------------------- - 2006-05-30
hello, goodbye - 2006-05-24
Pinky burglar - 2006-03-09
So let's go... - 2006-02-24