2002-12-19 : 6:10 p.m.
New York Call-a-cab

Written Journal entry:
12-18-02 5:16 p.m.

Listening to: The Cure (Wish)

I think, Home sickness is setting in again...

Luis and Kelvis were'nt able to get their shit together and come as planned to NYC- today.

So they won't be here this Friday-- which is okay with me, really...

Kelvis may have very well wanted to just go out to a gay bar and/or nightclub... and as much fun as I do have in such places... I'm much to sexually frustrated at the moment for it... and more so, on my Birthday...

so no fag-hag adventures... not at the moment...

I just feel a bit too "lonely" for that scenario... for once...

And Carmen (my adoptive mom) wants me to join her and a couple of (her) friends... one who's birthday also happens to be this friday... and go to dinner and dancing...
But outside of Carmen and one other person there, I won't 'really' know any of the folks there...

And frankly... for that level of socializing, I'm in no mood either...

I want comfort... and old company... not: "Hi... and your name was?..."

Then there's Paola... but she's got a four month old to attend to...
So that ends that...

And Shawn? Mmmmm...

Then there's Adrienne... who's off working for that entire weekend...
(something set prior to us even meeting and becoming roomie's). And unintentionally, we both had the same reaction... to her unavailabilty this Friday...

"Shit."

And if I'm sad about antyhing really... it's Adrienne...
She would have been perfect company for the evening... perfect. Maybe a card game, chit-chat, wine... or a couple beers at a bar... just perfect.

And last night, I must have spent atleast a solid 20 minutes trying to convince her to not get me anything...

I just don't like the fuss...

And it's quite the catch-22 i suppose, because I'm sure somewhere in the back of my mind, I expect some itsy-witsy fuss...

but at the same time... I just am not comfortable with the attention... it makes me feel wierd... uncomfortable... and I don't know why really...

A bunch of little reasons come to mind... but one inparticular? No.

But right now... above anything...

I'm missing my Wet Willies, New York Call-a-cab frozen drink... a cigarette... 80's music in the back ground... and good company...

at night...

with the ocean breeze...

and the occasional sound of motorcylces making their way down the strip...

previous : next

* - 2007-07-05
--------------------- - 2006-05-30
hello, goodbye - 2006-05-24
Pinky burglar - 2006-03-09
So let's go... - 2006-02-24