2002-12-19 : 6:46 p.m.
Disney and Luis... and advice to be comforted by...

Listening to: Echo & the Bunnymen ( for the life of me I can't remember the name of the CD, but it's the one with 'Lips like Sugar' and 'Game' on it...)

There are a couple things running through my mind right now...

For one... Shawn... he wrote me a fairly long winded email last night and was apparently drunk to boot...

Not good...

He went on to mention a couple things...
but the part that is now lingering in my mind... is his 'now present', regret of "us"...

and as he put it... how he "fucked it up"...

Which I honestly don't think or feel the way he does about the demise... I just think the time and all the circumstances were God awful and completely set against us from the start...

and I was very tempted to post his email as well as my response... but I've declined... because I think what he wants right now more than anything, is just a little peace- that comes from being private (for once) about matters...
And being that even his ex- (not me) flops around this good ol' diaryland as well (to name one)... well... I'll give him at least that much for now....

But yeah... I don't know how to respond to that... to him...

Like I've said, I know the boy has feelings for me... but even if he did feel that way-- (regretful, or maybe wanting something more...with me or us...)-- well... I just didn't expect him to ever really "verbalize" the feelings... And so, I just haven't thought about how to deal with it...

Kind of a cop out, huh?

Yeah... I don't know what to do about that...

But last night I talked to my best buddy Luis (M.) for quite a while...

I love that boy... we think so much a like it's disgusting...

We're even attracted to the same men...Ha!

But yeah... we hadn't had a real "hearty" talk for a while... so I caught him up on quite a bit...

and now he has it in him to go to London...

Yeah... uhhh...(I can't begin to tell you how many trips we plan a year... and never get around to...)

We're just not the type of kids to plan for shit... we're not "goal setters" as it were... I mean, we kinda try, I suppose...

But we laugh most of the time, when we do... because we know we just weren't built to follow 'direction' very well... on a linear plane anyway...

All our trips literally were planned as they would happen...

case in point... we were on our way to a pharmacy store actually (to buy something or other)... (and with Kelvis in the back of the car)...
Luis just yells... let's go to Disney!

And then chaos ensues... with everyone screaming: "Go! Go! Hurry! Oh my god! Moeny?! Anyone!? Fuck it! Credit cards!! Go! Go!"

And mind you... it was around 7pm... we were 4 hours of a drive away... and Disney closed at 10 pm...

Luis' response?
"Where's the radar detector?! Get it out!"

And off we were.

We never made it that night. Got lost as hell... Fuck... we went through the same toll booth like fucking four times... because we kept getting lost and missing our off ramp...

I'll never forget that toll lady... she was laughing her ass off that night...

Ughhh... that was probably one of the best road trips to date... because of the excitment, the banter... the laughter (to absolute tears)...

fucking classic...

we got home back to Gainesville in the weee hours...

I miss you Luis... (Hi honey!!! *waving hello*... come on, sign up for diaryland!)

So yeah... it was a great talk...

and then he asked me about certain new characters on the scene...

which lead to one of the greatest pieces of advice to fall off of Luis's Lips...

And I quote... no really, I do... I made him repeat it, just so i could write it down...
"It's better to have somebody you care about- a little far away... than someone who doesn't care about you- closer to home..."

and the topic to that which it pertains to... will be left for another day...



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* - 2007-07-05
--------------------- - 2006-05-30
hello, goodbye - 2006-05-24
Pinky burglar - 2006-03-09
So let's go... - 2006-02-24