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2002-12-06 : 2:33 p.m.
Read it three thousand mother fuckin times if you must...
Okay...
this is rediculous... everything... I can't believe how upset i am over all this... Anyway... I don't know if mr Shawn is going to check his or my(?) email anymore... since he is not taking my calls now... at all... But here it is... so if he doesn't read it as an email... YOU CAN READ IT HERE: oh yeah... and all names have been "****" because I'm sick of people's grief... and you want to know what the funny thing is... I don't write anything I HAVEN"T SAID TO ANYONE"s FACE... EVER!!!!!!!! YOU ALL KNOW ANYTHING... Do you know what I think the problem is... well, I know that's what it is, with some of you... You actually give a shit... as per the perception that people have of you upon reading my diary... WELL START YOUR OWN GOD DAMN SHIT... AND DESCRIBE YOUR FLAWLESS SELF... because I frankly do not have the time to write about every god forsaken detail... that paints you like the fucking angel you want to be... And if any of you... think I"M GOD DAMN FUCKING SOMEONE I HAVEN"T DISCLOSED... MARRIED, NOT, GAY, ENGLISH or FEMALE... FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!! And stop being so ignorant... email sent today at 2:20 pm. I think I deserve a little more than that.... You don't fucking believe me... go read *****'s diary for a bit... Check my goddamn email, if you want... unless of course you already have... in which case... I can only hope you were able to read the emails I deleted, before well... I deleted them... As i try to keep the ones that make me smile... Oh yes... and if your wondering about ****... he emails me on a different account... as also this guy named ****... tell me, if you want the password for those... And two.... let's see... yes, regrettably... I don't write about you as much... because OF THIS REASON........ But I got pissed on the whole censorship over thing... first and foremost... because OF FUCKING ****... and I FEEL FUCKING HORRIBLE for all the shit he's going through right now. FUCKING HORRIBLE... and I CAN"T WRITE ABOUT IT... three... DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY OF MY FUCKING FRIENDS ARE READING MY GODDAMMM DIARY SHAWN??? LIKE SHARI THEY SIGN UP AS GUEST USERS... AND NOW FUCKING ******... a boy I absolutely love... because he is one of my BF friends... IS NOT FUCKING TALKING TO ME.... BECAUSE OF FUCKING DIARYLAND.... and BECAUSE OF THIS COMPLICATED SHIT HE"S BUILT UP IN HIS HEAD... BECAUSE HE FUCKING THINKs... I'M SOMEHOW STILL ON JORGE'S DICK SOMEHOW... YEAH... FIGURE THAT one out... because I SURE AS FUCK CAN'T... SP DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING CALL ME A LIAR... when you have no fucking clue... because your too fucking depressed to be my goddam friend... And I'm sorry for your fucking helll... I AM MOTHER FUCKING SORRY... but give me at least an ounce of credit here... and stop fucking making me pay for other people's mistakes... I can't fix there shit for you... I AM NOT MOTHER FUCKING (insert Shawn's ex here)... SO DON"T CALL ME A LIAR. FUCK YOU... I've given you anything and everything I possibly can.. because I fucking FEEL for you... I FUCKING FEEL. And no credit... I was so stupidly enamoured with the fucking last message you left me... that I saved it... so I can fucking hear it... over and over... like the loser I am... Because I know... I know... you only come around like that ONE MOTHER FUCKING TIME A month... ANd I APPRECIATE SHAWN... I APPRECIATE IT... STOP READING INTO SHIT AND ASSUMING YOu KNOW IT ALL... MY DIARY IS MY DUMPING GROUND FOR THOUGHTS... that's all... just like you... and there's billions of gaps between every story... and I've explained that to you... and you said you understood... AND I MADE YOU PROMISE... REMEMBER???????? I MADE YOU PROMISE... that you would come to me if anything... anything at all made you upset, upon reading it... just to make sure you had all the info... BECAUSE HONEY... if I've said it once... I'VE SAID ONE TOO MANY TIMES ALREADY... IF I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOU... YOU WILL HEAR IT FROM ME FIRST... I know (insert that ass's name again) hurt you... I know you think the god damn world is out to hurt you... But I've never given you any reason to doubt anything that comes out of my mouth... EVER.
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