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2003-01-02 : 5:26 p.m.
My apologies for the other night...
Listening to: Chili Peppers... (on the radio) song called- 'By the way'.
I love that fucking song...well, I love the chili peppers... but alas! I'm missing sooo many of their albums...(any donations gladly accepted...) In any case, I just read what I wrote... ehh last night? This morning really... And I thoroughly apologize... It�s absolutely horrible and I realize how little sense it makes to most... My apologies... But anywho... I feel a bit off balance this (afternoon)... and the cough that keeps stalling my typing, is indicative of the ENTIRE pack of cig�s I smoked last night... And not once do I remember having someone bum one off me... ( I smoked an entire pack?) Good grief, this is a first... and rightly so, I�m going to hurt for the rest of the day because of it... I�m still a bit off... on the ass I was last night... (well, �ass� is a bit harsh... I was more of just a nerd...) But sleep... me? Nerd. But I�m a bit upset, as per how I handled the whole James situation... I mean, this was a very plausible: �I can give you a ring tomorrow, ey?� And not only did I kill it... but I must have looked like an absolute disheveled fuck... But hey... no worries... no regrets... zeee poops happen! And I much prefer the boy that lingers in my imagination... however unhealthy this is proving to be. Yesterday... had quite a few interesting and amusing turns... For one... we didn�t have a tv at this gig... and so with all the differing times on various watches, we really had no clue as to the right time... So I... brilliantly and (half retardedly) call my mom... (did I mention this all ready?... oh who cares!) So, I had my mami on the other end giggling her butt off... And I don�t remember what exactly I even told her... outside from �I love you� and such... but my mom then proceeded to count down for me in spanish on one end... and I translated the countdown to the bunch at the shin- dig, on my end... who then started to count down in unison with me... It had my mom in hysterics... She was laughing so much... And when the clock struck.. We all wound up to a huge whale of laughter and cheer.... My mom , just as readily started yelling and laughing on the other end... It was absolutely adorable... I had never heard her like that before... So yes, that was sweet... And I gave a few hugs... and cheek kisses... (I�m Hispanic, it�s unlawful to do one without the other.) Oh dear...*my memory is returning in random chunks.* I had also hugged this boy named Taka(?). A Japanese young man... very cool... and I remember Adrienne telling him, he needed to find and marry a nice young American girl... And again... I don�t think the chap was necessarily up to anything... but he had unintentionally pushed the red �panic� button. So I answered, �Ummm... yes and no... and errrr... ummm... I think I want to play cards... excuse me.� And I did the fastest tilt, pivot... jog maneuver... any drunk could as eloquently make... and made my way to where James was sitting and playing cards... yes, yummm... In retrospect, the whole little debacle is making me laugh to no end. Funny, funny stuff. I was on a roll for retarded maneuvers that evening, wasn�t I? (*sighs*) The funny thing is, is that I would marry to help someone out... because I would be doing it for the sole purpose of appeasing rules of government. Something, in my jilted stage... I feel marriage now is only good for. Hell, had Jorge not violated my trust as he had... I would have certainly gone ahead and married him. Because if anyone at that moment deserved freedom.... it was him. But I suppose that is another topic for conversation... and at the moment I�m still a bit to emotionally winded for it. I have to call Shawn now... he came on line... and dropped me a chat... And I suppose, the email I just woke up to from him... should be clarified... as I refuse to respond to that anymore... Why... oh why...
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