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2002-11-07 : 12:42 p.m.
pretending to do it... PPG style...
Listening to: Depeche Mode, Violator
I normally wouldn't think to paste any emails i get up here... but here's one to remember forever. It's from one of my best buds still back home in Miami, Shari... From: [email protected] >To: [email protected] >Subject: dreamers >Date: Thu, 7 Nov 2002 01:50:47 EST "How do you remain loving, honest and open to what's good..." you said thisin a recent entry in your diary and it made me cry ... its so hard to do that once you have been betrayed by love..i honestly think that im foolish most of the time with my whole marquise diamond bit and studying wedding books like i do but i dream that there will be one person who will help me find all of those things again... i dream of that so bad and i don't think that anyone who would treat you the way that you have been treated in the past couple of months is someone that will help you find them.. ive never seen you this way Alex and its so true... you said "Oh god and how I need you at this very moment, how I need you so" speaking of Shawn or maybe what you would wish Shawn would say to you and ive said something like this recently to Erik... i told him that i just want to be wanted ... not for sex and then left in the morning.. not for a fling for a little while... i just want to be wanted and never to be given up on ...its so hard to find someone that will do that ... yet another dream i guess that dreamers like me have... im still waiting and i honestly think that he's getting all the wanting and taking it for granted leaving you with this empty feeling inside which is killing you slowly and i hate it ... i hate the fact that he's putting you through this and i hate it that your taking it and taking it for so long.. could you do this to someone? And i don't mean anything with Jorge... you were never cruel intentionally to him ..Cruel words directly! Your not the type to be hostile unless perhaps you have had a bottle of jack in you... im so happy that your finally trying to move forward and i know that its a hard time right now with everything going on and i wish that i could be there and hold you and say it will turn out fine in the end and prince charming is right around the corner and all your dreams will come true... give yourself a hug and pretend im doing it PPG style.. and know that im blubbering like an idiot because i feel what your going through... i love you ... hang in there and keep dreaming love you bunches and bunches Shari ******** Aahhh... and the wickedly strange, yet amazing thing is... is how every human alike... fundamentaly dreams the same dream...
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