2003-04-19 : 5:18 p.m.
The pitters and patters of my heart...

Listening to: Radio... (I'm stuck at work on a Saturday...)Eeehhh...

I don't know how it works for boys entirely, at that age... but when you're a young girl, and that hormonal influx hits you for the first time... it's almost like having a bizarre panic attack...

You can't breathe... you get clammy and hot... your mind is just stuck, on that one particular thought...

and the pressure you feel in your err... area... from just sitting... takes on a whole new meaning...

And what brings it on?

Something simple normally...

Like the perfect picture in a magazine, or poster on a friends wall... of a stunning man, in an approachable, yet subtle provocative look...

And when it hits you... it hits you hard.

And the more you find yourself consumed, obsessed by the thought...
the pseudo conversation that takes place in your mind and the look of perfection he gives you... when stares at- of all things...
You.

The words are perfect, the smell, your look, the feel... and the emotions... fully met. Expectations...conquered.

It's the feeling that comes from all that, (for at that age... you are coming to your first understanding of what it is to be sexually viable...) that you believe anything is possible.

Love... sex... making love... is all one. Simple. And so untainted, it is beyond an act. It�s beautiful.

This boy makes me feel like that.

All the sadness, betrayals, and disillusionments, brought on by age and experience... disappear.

It's perfection.

And in exactly 18 days... I will be able to cradle his face with my hands once again.

previous : next

* - 2007-07-05
--------------------- - 2006-05-30
hello, goodbye - 2006-05-24
Pinky burglar - 2006-03-09
So let's go... - 2006-02-24