mi casa, su casa

Listening to: The Crystal Method (Tweekend)

Two subtle and wonderful things happened today�

1) I have my passport in my hands. (Even if the pic is god awful.)

2) I�ve been designated runner #9477.

Oh yeah� I�m suppose to be running a 5k in a week and a half�

You see� when I get my tax return� I give a chunk of it away� no matter what. It�s normally not anything very grand, but it�s something. And every year it�s fairly random�

Well this year� I gave 50 bucks to the Human Rights Watch� you know this? (I practice what I preach.)

But like many other (different) causes, there�s a marathon involved to raise money. And in light of losing Danny to cancer� and Jen F.�s mom to cancer� I�ve always liked trying to do something to help research and the such along. But with all that�s going on� I�m as poor as ever. So you guessed it,
I�m running a marathon.
A 5k called the Revlon Run/Walk

In the peak of my shape, I could run a little under 3 miles in 30 minutes. My peak being of course, 9 months ago. Since then� I�ve felt drowned and consumed by my daily existence� that I�ve stopped doing Yoga. (My primary �work out�, although I must mention, I never did it to stay in shap. That was just the added benefit.)

Anyhow, my company offered to fork up the money, if I do some running on their behalf� so there you have it�

# 9477.

I�m so winded, emotionally shot� and physically hammered� that I honest to god don�t think I know how I�ll make it.

And certainly, when I raised my hand to do this, two months ago� I never imagined I would be adding a third cancer victim to run for�

My grandfather.

Honestly, with this, my Hot Henry� and all the other nonsense you can imagine�

Like Danny A. being a bit taken aback about me and England, losing contact with Emilio, going the longest stretch without a break to go home, a job that is over working me� and taking advantage of me with lack of proper pay�

I just wish everything would just hold on for a sec� so I can resolve things. But it�s not happening�

Instead I feel overwhelmed and nothing seems to be okay�

I can�t even get Hot Henry to just acknowledge me with a term of endearment not used and abused from another well written Oscar Wilde short story� (okay that was far fetched... I just mean something nothing used to refer to the masses.)

And it's all stuff that I know� I could just normally shrug off and stop wasting my time with� if I didn�t feel all ready overwhelmed by so much.

Such stupid stuff really� even if he referred to me as �Beauffer� for affection, and didn�t use it for anyone else� I�d probably drool over with joy� just cuz it�s him� and more importantly- just for me, y�know?

Such simple stupid crap really. And it's even those stupid details, that are throwing me for a loop.

And nothing more would be so sweet, than to have everyone and anyone who comes through my door from now on� to leave their f*cking baggage at the door.

And then maybe the joy from the simplest of things� like my passport and my new purpose behind fulfilling #9477� wouldn�t be sucked out.

previous : next

* - 2007-07-05
--------------------- - 2006-05-30
hello, goodbye - 2006-05-24
Pinky burglar - 2006-03-09
So let's go... - 2006-02-24