2002-11-20 : 4:09 p.m.
electronic relationships

Listening to: Third Eye Blind (Blue)
please... no slack for it!!! It's a fucking fantastic album! Seriously... I too, a few years back... really debated the antics and genuine "bill-board" sound of Third Eye Blind... but this album made me take all the squash, I vehemently spewed on them-- directly back into the good ol' mouth...

Seriously... just listen... uninterrupted-- beginning to end...

FANTASTIC.

Anywho... now on to the topic revolving vicariously through the synapses since last night...

Adrienne and I had quite the interesting talk about diaryland... devallyk, mustangusmc, and other now beloved beautes...

(oh yes� and as an aside� I had that conversation� only after just having a phone conversation with Shari�regarding the same nonsense.)

(Oh� and as a second aside: Shari is a secret-covert-spy on diaryland� whom is a bit chicken� and signs up as a guest (refusing to set up her own tag name)� to read muah� and others- as listed above� oh my bubbles: in my proper PBS- drug-free- commercial tone� �� everybody does it� come on�� Hee� hee�)

Well, Adrienne refuses to get directly involved... seeing as she is already vicariously hooked by everything I tell her- relating to all, and myself of course�

It is a bit sad, I must admit� I come home to tell her about my day� and the day includes: �yeah, so J� is having to deal with (such and such)��---�Suck� with a capital �S�� I know�poor thing��--- �Fletcher�It�s Fletcher� Adrienne� no sweets� not �Hetcher�, or �Metcher�� or �Festcher��. �F-L-E-T-C-H-E-R���

�giggles� �ooops� yeah, sorry� �Fle-hhh�. Umm, yeah� the cute boy from England� right, right� that one�� she responds.

I always laugh after that comment� and I fear this is how our conversations concerning diaryland normally start out� incessantly.

�Yes, Adrienne�� (followed by my- now- all to frequent slap to the forehead.)

Well� on to my point� sorry� I get a bit spastic� I know�

Well� a bit further into the conversation she gets me real, real� good. By that I mean� she asks the perfect question that leaves me� well� speechless� In that kind of relentless �stumped� feeling of: �Shit� I don�t know really� well, I mean� I think I might know� ehhh�but�. Hmmm� good fucking question�. Shit� ten points for Adrienne!�

The question?

Why are you so afraid of meeting someone� anyone� via the internet and such?

And this question has come� ironically enough, just before I check my email� and find myself with the most pleasant of emails from mustangusmc� (now quit the dirty thoughts� I�ll explain in a bit�)

And yes, we could answer with the all too common answer: �ummm� possible stalker?

But all jokes aside� ahem� seriously�

You see� I have never conferred with folk via these new industrial wires�

For anything ever� And don�t get me started on the whole �single� scene you can fall into via the internet� HELL NO!!!

I had a friend, who�s entire back bone became dependent on the shit� she must have met and gone out with a good twenty� through these things�

First the emails� the nonsensical banter of IM- ing� oh! And the ever so exciting picture exchange�

Female: �oooohh� yeah you�re uhhh� kinda hot��

Male: �he�he� he� so you wanna meet?�

And then enter: Nerds like I� to get dragged along for the momentous occasion� b/c pip-squeek here� is to nervous to go alone�

And in seconds I become witness to what happens� over and over again�

Nothing.

The worst kind of Nothing� the uncomfortable�. Nothing.

And the night turns into: everyone talking to everyone� except for the two in question, who can�t even look at each other�

And the night wraps itself up� with yours truly having to drive� b/c pip-squeek can�t stop crying in her wails of:

��aaaahhhhrrrrrggghhhhh�. Why�why� why� I don�t understand� he saw my picture� we�ve been talking for months Alex� why? He said�I was cute� he said he liked me��

��ummm� well, I�m sure he did�uhhh��

��.aaaahhhhrrrrrggghhh�.� (*sniffles�snot�snorts� and anything between*) �� then why? What happened?�. I liked him so much Alex��

�Pheromones��

�eh�eh�he�eh�eh�� (oh you know, those crying heaves.) �What?�

�Pheromones� what can I tell you?� the dog sniffed and scratched� but didn�t get the scent��

��uh-hu-hu�aaaahhhhrrrrggghhhh�.� Her face flops back into her hands.

I mean what the fuck am I suppose to say?

I� in this situation� I would die� but it�s true� everyone always, always, mistakenly think� the good ol� picture exchange is the key�

But the only definite information such a thing gives you is: Oh yeah� definitely could screw this donkey al�right�

And I had explained all this to Adrienne� as a plausible answer�

��but this is your diary Alex� and you�ve also been reading about these people for months� sorry, but I don�t think that�s it��

Blasted! She�s fucking right� And I can�t even use the honesty ploy either� The: this person could be putting up a front�kind of deal. Simply because it would prove to be way to difficult for anyone really� to keep up any kind of front� for soooo long� and be consistent within months worth of entries� Possible? Maybe. But entirely too difficult and unlikely.

And then an answer that lunaadored had written in my survey, came to mind�
I asked something like: Would you meet anyone via the internet? (I�m quite curious as to why folk may think these things would work, you see�)

�Sure I would. Diaries are rather personal, and you can get to know someone quite well reading one. And if you form a good enough on-line friendship, why not try one off? How far? Depends on the person.�

Yes�. Yes� good answer. I just can�t refute that. �Cause it makes quite a bit of sense to me...for once.

Adrienne�s theory on my troubles is even more interesting� (oh by they way� she�s the child of a shrink� so as she put it: �Oh, I haven�t had a problem that hasn�t been dissected or �Worked though�.� (With fingers, doin� the quote thing.)

So in her soft� (just lay down� and let�s talk about this)- kind of voice, she says:

�Alex� I think it�s the whole� �distance� versus �relationship� thing� you�re scared that it might actually work� but then you�ll have to let it go��

I�m awestruck.

��even if it happens to be romantic or not�� she continues.

DAMN! (*heavy sighs and breathing*) She is fucking Goooooood!

At soon as it all really sunk in� all I could do is sit myself on my bed� and think�

That just fucking sucks.

And as fate would have it of course� I get an email from mustangusmc for a delightful invite to a chat via the phone!! (and no� you piglets!� he is very married� and very, very much in love� (*sighs*)� so end that nonsense immediately, thank you�)

I was immediately ecstatic by the notion! A voice to go with all the wonderful stories and thoughts� and yes� pictures�

And then I got nervous� how silly! Which then brought me right back to what Adrienne had talked about�

Again, this is all very, very strange for me�

I can only imagine what I would feel like if say someone like good ol� Fletcher appeared at my door step�

I may actually pass out, before I can even turn the knob� HA!

previous : next

* - 2007-07-05
--------------------- - 2006-05-30
hello, goodbye - 2006-05-24
Pinky burglar - 2006-03-09
So let's go... - 2006-02-24