mi casa, su casa

When I turned on the TV... I thought...

"why are they showing challenger footage?"

Oh god...

I was in the third grade when that happened.

And it's one of those childhood memories... I wish I couldn't remember.

Watching intently the launch, with all my other little school mates. My teacher so eager... so excited...

this was her friend on the shuttle.

And then the explosion.

And the silence.

I looked back at Ms. Williams.

I knew something was wrong.

She just buckled screaming from the top of her lungs..."No! NO!... NO!"

And the other teachers running to pick her off the ground.

Her screams... I remember her screams. And I remember standing up... wanting to walk to her.

I understood.

and another instructer grabbed me by the shoulder... and said it was okay... and then the chaos... getting us out of the class...

because Ms. Williams couldn't be moved.

I said "I'm sorry..." I told her I was sorry.

I began to remember about Papo... and his death...

and I knew that I didn't get to see Papo again.

I remember pushing teachers off of me...

I remember looking at him and yelling at him.

and one of teachers trying to calm me outside...

I asked her... "to please leave me alone..."

and she did.

I walked away... towards the trees...

in my "church"- "sunday school" classes they had told me... God had created all...

and even though you couldn't see him... he was there... and in everything.

So I calmed myself... walked towards one of the trees...

I touched it.

And said,

"I Hate you. I HATE god."